New Reality

I have gone back and forth about posting my new reality here, but have finally decided to go ahead with it.  Ever since I began this blog, after retiring from three decades of teaching, I have used the site to record images of beauty in my every day life, records of our travels, and some of the art I have created.  I hope to still do these things, although there is a new issue that has taken over most of my time, and that is my health.

In April I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and on June 16th I had surgery at UW Madison hospital.  After four days there I returned home to recuperate, and consider how my life will be changing.  I still do not have very much energy, though I am up and about, eating, reading, petting the cat.  I know that soon I will be meeting with new doctors to begin chemotherapy, and that will be another different set of challenges - not the least of which will be that I will lose all my hair.

But in a real way I am more anxious about who this new person will be, the one who no longer leads groups of people on historic cemetery tours, who has to be careful about what she eats and drinks, who requires rides to numerous medical appointments, who suddenly throws a whole new anxious feeling over meetings with friends.  One who is a little jealous of other people's lunch meetings, field trips with grandchildren,  time spent gardening.

I also am concerned about my art.  I haven't felt brave enough to draw or paint yet, partially because moving around has been uncomfortable, but also because I wonder what will become of all of the notebooks, sketchbooks, watercolors, collages and other paintings.  I sell little of my work, so it stacks up in drawers and closets.  What will become of it?

So many questions.

But it is summer, and there is beauty.  My lilies are in full bloom in the yard.  Fireflies light the evening lawn.  People drop by with baked goods and flowers.  In many ways the good things of life are still there to be enjoyed.  I hope to keep appreciating them.

Forty Days, Forty Nights

It has been dribbling, hailing, storming, pouring.  We're soaked.  There's a big maple at the back of our property that lost a large limb in a wind storm, and while the good news it that the limb missed the fence, the bad news is it smashed all sorts of bushes and spring ephemerals. This graceful jack-in-the-pulpit was laying flat, so I brought it inside for a closer look.

Why did I never do this before?  Such elegance and grace in a simple plant.

In the Japanese Garden

A week or so ago I went for a walk in the Japanese garden at our local botanical gardens.  This part of the garden is always cool and quiet. I was delighted to find a magenta azalea blooming. 

                                              “Instructions for living a life.
                                                Pay attention.
                                                Be astonished.
                                                Tell about it.” -- Mary Oliver

May Flowers - Before the Rain

Last winter we took a cruise, and in our cabin were two paintings, extreme close-ups of striped parrot tulips.  I was fascinated by these paintings and was anxious for it to be tulip time here in Wisconsin.  They are wonderful, pops of bright color after the gray of winter.  My photo probably doesn't do these justice, but I guess the real joy was in the looking.

Spring at Oak Hill

I was out photographing stones at Oak Hill, and noticed this tree in full blossom, near one of the more impressive obelisks. I snapped this picture, even though I would have preferred a blue sky. Looking now, I like the limited palette of the image, very little color except the green of the grass and new leaves.  Life, returning, as it does each spring.

Fawn, Spotted

I spend lots of time at Oak Hill cemetery, photographing stones for Find a Grave, and planning walking tours for the community.  But sometimes I just sit and watch, and am rewarded with a glimpse from nature.  There is a small herd of deer that lives in the woods at the back of the property, and I got lucky last week and spotted this growing up fawn.  Sometimes that's all it take to make my day.

Backpedalling

I began this blog a decade ago, when I was inspired by another woman's blog that had one beautiful photo a day.  I took photos of things in my corner of the world, and sometimes added poetry.  Then, over time, I began to concentrate almost exclusively on my art making, and my original intent was mostly pushed aside.

I'm feeling the need to go back to my original intent, at least for a while.  Winter seemed long to me, and I was plagued by nagging illnesses - nothing too awful, but enough to sap my energy and enthusiasm for making art.

So, for now, I want to return to more frequent photos of things I find beautiful in my life. I have a new camera that I really enjoy, so that is part of it. And maybe I'll hunt around for some poetry too.

 This is our local library, the Hedberg Public Library.  It's quite close to our house, so I visit several times a week, to find books and books on CD for the car, and to research for my cemetery walks. In the spring the Bradford pear trees out near the road are glorious, as are the tulip beds. We've been given nice weather for a few days, so they are showing off their blossoms in a spectacular way.

Yes, I am aware that Bradford Pear trees have their detractors, but today I am enjoying the blossoms.