It's the first day of 2018, New Years day. The holidays are officially over, and I had my birthday on Friday and have made it to sixty-seven years. Today is the day I traditionally begin taking down Christmas decorations, or at least the tree. I sometimes leave up the lights on the fireplace mantle, just because I like their glow on dark evenings.
Although the television news and the papers are full of the year in review and tips on making resolutions, I have trouble looking back over the past year, partly because of political developments that I find distressing, and all the violence and natural disasters, but mostly because of my cancer diagnosis. Apart from undergoing major surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatments, suddenly it seems that every movie I see and every novel or magazine article I read has someone dying of cancer. It's difficult not to struggle mentally with thoughts of my own mortality, though I try to wake up every day glad to be alive and hoping to make the most of it.
I suppose that is my new years resolution - to appreciate every day and try to make the most of it. I used to wonder what I might do different in my life if I knew it would end soon. So far the answer is, not too much. I try to be loving to my family and friends, and to do the things that give me pleasure. I read, watch movies, do some work on Find a Grave for Oak Hill cemetery here in town, and spend some time making art. I eat and drink whatever agrees with me. I sleep as much as I need to. I make plans, but try not to get too upset if they don't work out.
Right now I am looking forward to the end of radiation treatments, which should happen by the middle of January. If they were effective, I hope we can do a little traveling, something I have missed since having so many medical appointments. I also am happily anticipating my hair getting long enough to provide some warmth on my head. In the meantime I am happy to have my eyebrows back.
Happy New Year to you.
