24x24 inches, oil and cold wax on canvas
I used to laugh at people who claimed to be blocked. No more. The past year has seen me change from a person who drew or painted almost every day to a person who often sits in the stdio staring at sketchbook and canvases and big sheets of paper and thinking. But not doing.
I have reasons/excuses. I attended a couple different workshops with people whose abstract work I admire, and came away feeling like a zero. A person incapable of taking any sort of risk. Then this year I was diagnosed with cancer, had extensive surgery, and am in the middle of chemotherapy. For a while I was too stunned, too sore, too scared to think about painting, and in fact my hands were too shaky.
But then I thought, if not now, when? What have I got to lose? I took an old canvas that I rescued from the Goodwill, gessoed over it, and got out my old oil paints and new jar of Gamblin Cold Wax medium, and just played. Since I don't really know how to clean my brushes with this wax medium, I used palette knives and my fingers - something totally new to me. And guess what. I sort of like the results, even though my only goal was to see how the cold wax and oil paint behaves. I layered, and sqeegeed and scraped. I even added some collage papers in the first layer. I mixed up too much paint and then gave myself permission to waste it by throwing it away.
So, whether this ever sees the light of day or not, I am pleased that I finally took some action. I'd hate to never have tried.
