No Time Like the Present

24x24 inches, oil and cold wax on canvas

I used to laugh at people who claimed to be blocked.  No more.  The past year has seen me change from a person who drew or painted almost every day to a person who often sits in the stdio staring at sketchbook and canvases and big sheets of paper and thinking.  But not doing.

I have reasons/excuses.  I attended a couple different workshops with people whose abstract work I admire, and came away feeling like a zero.  A person incapable of taking any sort of risk.  Then this year I was diagnosed with cancer, had extensive surgery, and am in the middle of chemotherapy.  For a while I was too stunned, too sore, too scared to think about painting, and in fact my hands were too shaky.  

But then I thought, if not now, when?  What have I got to lose?  I took an old canvas that I rescued from the Goodwill, gessoed over it, and got out my old oil paints and new jar of Gamblin Cold Wax medium, and just played.  Since I don't really know how to clean my brushes with this wax medium, I used palette knives and my fingers - something totally new to me.  And guess what. I sort of like the results, even though my only goal was to see how the cold wax and oil paint behaves.  I layered, and sqeegeed and scraped.  I even added some collage papers in the first layer.  I mixed up too much paint and then gave myself permission to waste it by throwing it away.

So, whether this ever sees the light of day or not, I am pleased that I finally took some action.  I'd hate to never have tried.